Together( second version)

“Get behind this wall, nobody will think that two slaves can hide here.” Atilius said.

“Are you sure it will be safe? the guards are not allowed in this temple, right?” Marcus asked looking around.

“I don’t know, but we need to find a way out soon.” Atilius stopped scrutinizing the wall and continued “do you here that?”

“What? “Marcus shook his head.

“Soldiers Marcus.”

Marcus leaned against the wall and slipped to the floor, tears in his eyes. “No I can’t do this anymore Atilius. Why? Just because we refused to follow order and kill.”

Atilius went down and caught him by the shoulder. “Marcus, get hold of yourself.” Marcus stared at him “What Marcus? Why are you looking at me like this?”

“No you can’t be thinking…” Atilius turned the other way but Marcus held his head.

“You do know what kind of torture is waiting for us.” Marcus said, Atilius changed of colour and his eyes became wider and asked “But how?”

“Let’s jump here.” Marcus pointed to a well.

“But this is small it will only get us injured.”

Marcus noticed Atilius waist belt then proceed “We can…. Hmm… we can use these.” Pointing to the daggers. They stood silent for a while and Marcus continued, “Here in the neck, we stab each other. It will be painless and immediate.”

“Fine.” Atilius took a deep breath.

“Lets’ do it.” Marcus said.

They hugged each other for the last time.

The guards finally found them, they were already dead. Their master was angry, he wanted to make them an example to other slaves.


the first version : click HERE

Thank you for reading 🙂



The devil kingdom

this entry is for Mondays Finish the Story

© 2015,Thank you  Barbara W. Beacham for the photo.

my entry :

“The cemetery spread along the area known as Devils Abode.” The villagers warned them in that spring day, but they submitted to their son insistence to visit it. The big grave allured the curious boy, especially the mysterious writing in the stone.

“Probably, it’s an ancient language.” Eric explained, examining it.

“Let’s go. It’s starting to thunder.” the wife stated, looking to the gloomy sky, but her husband was absorbed by the shinning letters.

He wanted to stand but his hand was glued to the stone.

“ Did you hear that?” He asked, but his family refuted.

The voice became louder “kill them, kill them.” it said.

As the rain fell, he fainted.

“ERIC” his wife shouted and went down to him but he was already awake.

“You scared me.” she said, checking his red eyes.

“ Sorry to scare you, let go home.” He smirked.

At the end of the road, Eric stopped after a while the tomb illuminated.


word count ( first sentence excluded) : 148

thank you for reading 🙂

if you want to read other entries :

Together (Sunday Photo Fiction – August 30th 2015)

this entry is for sunday photo fiction

my entry :

“Let hide behind this wall.” Atilius suggested, grabbing Marcus arm.

“What are we going to do now?” Marcus asked.

“Silence. They are coming.”

“Soldiers?” Marcus murmured. “But they aren’t allowed inside the temple Atilius.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Atilius scrutinized the walls hoping to find an escape.

“All of that, just because we refused to kill him.” Marcus collapsed.

“Marcus, calm down.” Atilius lifted him.

“ They’ll be here soon. All the torture we will endure Atilius.” Sobbing, Marcus held his friend face.

“Why are you looking at me like this Marcus?”

“I don’t want to suffer anymore.” Marcus acknowledged. “Let’s jump in this well.” he pointed to a hole.

“This will only get us injured but not killed.” Atilius replied.

“Then.” Marcus hesitated for a moment then continued. “Let stab each other with these daggers. In the neck better, we will die instantly.” They snatched the knifes from their respective waist belts.

“Are you having second thoughts?” Marcus asked, but Atilius refuted. “Then close your eyes and do it.” They hugged each other for the last time.

“Sir, we find the slaves. They are both dead.” A soldier said.

“Dam I wanted to make them a lesson to the other slaves” the noble man shouted.


Word count: 204

Thank you for reading 🙂

If you want to read other entries :


this flash fiction is an entry for FRIDAY FICTIONEERS thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting.

thank you  © Claire Fuller for photo prompt

My entry :

Fifty outstanding students from all over the country are summoned to visit this historical monument. The president will honor them too. I’m one of those students.

“Before our blessed revolution, the previous corrupted government hid personal information here.”  The guide explains about the archive.

I don’t remember this period, but I do know how much my father sacrificed for this revolution. I learned by heart how this president killed him right where I’m standing.

Time for the presidential recognition, only one person then it is my turn to shake hands with the dictator. I have a poisoned razor blade between my fingers.


word count: 102

thank you for reading 🙂

to read other entries


5 Rules For Chapter One Of Your Book

Dan Alatorre - AUTHOR

I... must... read... more! I… must… read… more!

1. Start the story as late as possible

2. Have a grabber opening

3. Make the reader care, usually via the MC

4. What are the stakes? What can be gained or lost?

5. End with a cliffhanger so we go to chapter 2

Need more info? Let’s read on then, shall we?

(Learn more about writing better stories HERE)


I'm already 45 minutes overdue! I’m already 45 minutes overdue!

Start the story as late as possible

Most authors bury the really interesting stuff a few paragraphs in, or worse, in chapter two or three. What’s the first interesting thing that happens in your story? Start there.

(Learn about tightening your story HERE)


Have a grabber opening

Holy cow, am I intrigued by this prose! Holy cow, am I intrigued by this prose!

I like a “grabber” opening to a story and especially the opening chapter. Stories that hook a reader right away and keep…

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Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers ( the balloon stand)

 this story is for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers.  a flash fiction challenge (stories in 100-175 words or less). A prompt photo will be provided each Tuesday.

This week’s photo prompt is provided by

my entry:

-I still remember the first day we met here. We were so young, four I guess. Natasha recalled

-You were four, I was six then. There right? Neil said pointing to the balloon stand.

-You still remember.

-How could I forget? We were fighting over a blue balloon and you snatched it from my hand and ran.

-It was a beautiful summer day like today. Natasha looked to the sky. Even if it was war. She sighted.

Neil put his hand over hers. “We kept meeting here. It was here where we confessed our love the first time and the first time we kissed too.”

-You even proposed here. Natasha continued laying her head over his shoulder, then stand up and gazed at him. What a silly proposal was that.

-But you said yes, you were so in love. Putting her head over his shoulder again.

-I felt pity for you that all. They both laughed.

-Look at our grandson, he is fighting with a girl for the blue balloon. They smiled.


word count : 172

Thank you for your reading.

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Monday finish the story (the eyes)

this entry is for Mondays Finish the Story  a flash fiction challenge where we are provided with a new photo each week, and the first sentence of a story. we are asked to finish the story using 100-150 words, not including the sentence provided.

my entry :

-I see absolutely everything now. It is a prehistoric stony animal. He was able to transform himself to rock but couldn’t do it backward. Francesca stated.

-What are you talking about Fran? Sandy replied.

-Look at the eyes. Fran Pointed to the blue part.

-It is not eyes it some sort of minerals.

-Don’t you see how real they are? Fran insisted.

-Stop that Francesca. The transformation is impossible. You are a scientist not some kind of alchemist.

-Alchemists were once the scientists of ancient times. Unfortunately nobody understood them. They were called charlatans and sometimes burned alive.

-We are lucky we don’t live at that time. Lets go out and have lunch.

Hanging their lab coat, they heard a bizarre sound. Sandy turned to see.

-Fran look. Sandy said with a shaking voice.

-What sandy?

-The eyes, the eyes are moving.

-Well I guess he found his way back to his natural form.


word count: 149 (excluding the sentence)

thank you for reading.