Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers ( the balloon stand)

 this story is for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers.  a flash fiction challenge (stories in 100-175 words or less). A prompt photo will be provided each Tuesday.

This week’s photo prompt is provided by pixabay.com

https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/wpid-photo-20150816175959521.jpg

my entry:

-I still remember the first day we met here. We were so young, four I guess. Natasha recalled

-You were four, I was six then. There right? Neil said pointing to the balloon stand.

-You still remember.

-How could I forget? We were fighting over a blue balloon and you snatched it from my hand and ran.

-It was a beautiful summer day like today. Natasha looked to the sky. Even if it was war. She sighted.

Neil put his hand over hers. “We kept meeting here. It was here where we confessed our love the first time and the first time we kissed too.”

-You even proposed here. Natasha continued laying her head over his shoulder, then stand up and gazed at him. What a silly proposal was that.

-But you said yes, you were so in love. Putting her head over his shoulder again.

-I felt pity for you that all. They both laughed.

-Look at our grandson, he is fighting with a girl for the blue balloon. They smiled.

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word count : 172

Thank you for your reading.

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17 thoughts on “Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers ( the balloon stand)”

  5. A sweet story of a life spent with each other. I have to admit, I do find the lack of speech marks through most of it a little confusing – although it also makes me wonder whether they are actually there and physically speaking. They could be ghosts, watching over their grandson… Hmm. Anyway, good story. I love the way history appears to be repeating itself in the final line. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry for the delayed response, but I was so busy. Concerning your comment about the speech mark I have to admit that you are right. but it was matter of word count so I had to to make cuts and since I’m new at flash fiction writing I still have a lot to learn. the point of ghost, I never thought of it but why not. probably I will write a longer version and post it. thank you for reading and sorry for any inconvenience. 🙂

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  6. A lovely, heartwarming story. As a garandmother myself, I loved the happy ending. I have been married for 45 years, so I can identify with the emotions expressed. 🙂
    It would be a good idea to use speech marks in the dialogue, though – as you have done for one section in the middle. (I’m not sure why that part has been given speech marks but not the rest.) Well done with the story. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading. Great to hear the connection between the scene and your life, wishing all the best for you and your family.
      Concerning the speech marks, i agree with you. but my excuse for it is word count. probably I will write a longer version and post it. And sorry for any inconvenience. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow, I love the “homey” feeling I get from this. The playful, heartfelt banter about the past and how it also ties into their present and the future of their grandchild.

    As for speech marks, are you thinking of dialogue tags or quotation marks? Quotation marks around the dialogue shouldn’t add to word count. Like: “I still remember the first day we met here. We were so young, four I guess,” Natasha recalled. (Still 18 words ^_^)

    But regardless, great story!

    Liked by 1 person

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